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Announcing the Inaugural André Brink Memorial Lecture, to be delivered at this year's @FranLitFest bit.ly/1EPQRNb

Apartheid, BEE, Culture: Chester Missing's Alphabet of White Privilege

Chester Missing's Guide to the Elections '14Chester Missing, comedian and author of Chester Missing’s Guide to the Elections ’14, has written an “A to Z of white privilege” for City Press.

In the article, Missing covers a sample of everything from culture and normalised white tastes, to Nelson Mandela and names, to the F-word (feminism) and the K-word (racism).

Read the article:

A
Apartheid. Because the only white people who didn’t benefit from it are albinos. Its legacy lies in patterns of wealth, access to resources, education, transport, healthcare and social and cultural capital. And also in road renaming in Cape Town. De Klerk Boulevard. WTF?

B
Black economic empowerment. Because wealth redistribution got jacked by the same white captains of industry who created the system in the first place. So many Chester Missings out there. Broad-based black economic empowerment, however, is a different kettle of fish.

C
Culture. The people with the money have buying and employing power. Their tastes and norms dictate who gets employed and what products and media get sold. Whiteness for daaayyyys

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An Audience with Pieter-Dirk Eish: The Comedian Talks Satire, His Latest Show and His Favourite Characters

Evita's Kossie SikelelaEvita se Kossie SikelelaEvita's BlackBessieEvita se BlackBessieEvita se Bossie SikelelaEvita\'s Bossie Sikelela

 
Pieter-Dirk Uys AKA Evita Bezuidenhout’s latest show An Audience with Pieter-Dirk Eish opened at the Cape Town Theatre on the Bay last week and will be running until the 14th of March before it moves to Johannesburg’s Toerien Montecasino Theatre to show from 17 March to 12 April.

 
Uys joined Jennifer Sanasie in the News24 studio to discuss what people can expect from this new production:

“The point of the show is it’s live, meaning it’s what’s happening now,” says Uys, explaining the concept of this production, which sees 20 numbered boxes placed on stage from which his beloved characters will entertain the audience as they are chosen.

“Evita Bezuidenhout is the most famous one. If she hasn’t been chosen by 80 minutes I will say to the audience that there is something I must do otherwise they will throw stones at me at the end,” Uys tells Sanasie.

Watch the video to find out more about An Audience with Pieter-Dirk Eish:

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Uys also discussed the role of satire in South Africa:

“I don’t think it is important. You know, satire is a flavour of criticism, a flavour of highlighting. It’s like a bright yellow Koki pen that you highlight with,” the comedian says. He elaborates by saying that the shocking nature of our reality has taken away from the original intentions of satire (to shock) and shares the basic principles of modern satire.

“It is important to make people sit up and think hey, you are not allowed to say that. Are you allowed to say that? Am I allowed to think that?” Uys says and emphasises that “entertainment is the most important part” of this branch of comedy:

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“I get a great reaction from Desmond Tutu because he is the voice in the wilderness of free speech. I mean, he is so important and so funny – and he loves humour!” Uys replied to the question which of his characters get the strongest reaction. He says he especially enjoys playing to “born-frees” (under 20s) who have no idea what he is talking about most of the time.

Watch the video for more on his other characters, including Tannie Evita, and his advice to young South Africans:

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Related:

 

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2015 SAFTA Nominations Announced: A Nod to Work by Justin Bonello, Zapiro, Deon Opperman and More

 
The nominees for the ninth annual South African Film and Television Awards, known as the SAFTAs, have been announced. The winners of the Golden Horn Trophies will be announced at two events to be held on 19 and 22 March.

The documentary Miners Shot Down has been nominated for four awards: Best Documentary Feature, Best Achievement in Directing – Documentary Feature, Best Achievement in Sound – Documentary Feature and Best Achievement in Editing – Documentary Feature. From the point of view of the Marikana miners, the documentary follows the strike from day one and the tragedy that ensued. For more on this event you could read Reporting from the Frontline by Gia Nicolaides, We Are Going To Kill Each Other Today by Thanduxolo Jika or Marikana by Peter Alexander.

We Are Going To Kill Each Other TodayMarikanaReporting from the FrontlineThe Accidental AmbassadorDonkerlandHartland
DonkerlandKruispad7de Laan CelebratesIncognitoChester Missing's Guide to the Elections '14It's Code Red!

 
The cast and crew of Afrikaans drama series Donkerland have been nominated in an astounding 10 categories, with two nominations (out of a possible three) in the Best Actor in a lead role – TV drama and Best supporting Actor – TV drama categories. A trilogy related to this series was published by NB Publishers: Hartland, Donkerland and Kruispad.

ZANews has also been nominated for an incredible 10 categories, including Best Achievement in Scriptwriting –TV Comedy and Best Actor in a lead role – TV Comedy. Some of their “agent proveocateurs” include Chester Missing (Chester Missing’s Guide to the Elections ’14) and Ben Trovato (Incognito), with Zapiro (It’s Code Red)and Jerm (Comedy Club) responsible for many of the “inkings” on which the famous puppets are based. Zapiro is also one of the co-creators of the satirical puppet show.

7de Laan has been nominated in seven categories, including Best Achievement in Directing – TV Soap and Best Achievement in Art/Design Production – TV Soap. Recipes from this soap, which sees a Deli and coffee shop as two major settings, are available in 7de Laan Celebrates.

The Last Boers of Patagonia has been nominated for four awards: Best Achievement in Directing – Documentary Short, Best Achievement in Cinematography – Documentary Short, Best Achievement in Sound – Documentary Short and Best Achievement in Editing – Documentary Short. It tells the story of a group of Afrikaans-speaking people who have been living in a remote region of Patagonia, Argentina, for over 100 years. Tony Leon’s book The Accidental Ambassador: From Parliament to Patagonia shares more about his time as the South African ambassador to Argentina, offering insight to this unique group of people too.

Justin Bonello’s Ultimate Braai Master: The roads less travelled has been nominated for the Best Reality Show award. His latest book, Cooked in the Karoo, was published by Penguin last year.

Have a look at the list of nominees to see who else has been recognised for the contribution to the South African film and television industry:

2015 SAFTAs Nominees Announcement List by Books LIVE

 

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  • We Are Going To Kill Each Other Today: The Marikana Story by Thanduxolo Jika, Sebabatso Mosamo, Leon Sadiki, Athandiwe Saba, Felix Dlangamandla, Lucas Ledwaba
    EAN: 9780624063452
    Find this book with BOOK Finder!
  • Marikana: A view from the mountain and a case to answer by Peter Alexander, Thapelo Lekgowa, Botsang Mmope, Luke Sinwell, Bongani Xezwi
    EAN: 9781431407330
    Find this book with BOOK Finder!

How to Marry a Politician: Learn the Offside Rule with Lucas Radebe and Nia Magoulianiti-McGregor (Video)

How to Marry a Politician and SurviveNia Magoulianiti-McGregor was a guest on the SABC’s Morning Live show, to chat about her new book How to Marry a Politician and Survive.

Magoulianiti-McGregor reveals that she worked with a flirt coach when writing the book, who gave her good advice on how to bag a politician.

“Men really like three things: sport (soccer), sex, and food,” Magoulianiti-McGregor, adding that the book includes recipes from renowned traditional South African chef Dorah Sithole, as well as instructions from Lucas Radebe explaining the offside rule in simple terms.

Watch the video:

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Read an Excerpt from Nia Magoulianiti-McGregor's New Book, How to Marry a Politician and Survive

How to Marry a Politician and SurviveKMM Review Publishing has shared an excerpt from Nia Magoulianiti-McGregor’s rip-roaring read, How to Marry a Politician and Survive.

How to Marry a Politician and Survive is a tongue-in-cheek look at politicians in South Africa, in which Magoulianiti-McGregor gives readers advice on how to become the “wife to retire on”.

This extract consists of an amusing quiz: Do you have what it takes to be a politician’s wife?

Answer as truthfully as you can to the questions below. As it takes a thief to catch a thief, it may well take a savvy, sassy politician (that’s you) to nab a politician.

General knowledge:

1.Veronica Lario is…
a) Former Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi’s estranged wife who scored big time after she left that geriatric.
b) Someone who should have known better.
c) A new perfume.

2. Nkandla renovations cost
a) Around R246 million.
b) Pay Back the Money.
c) A few million but I hear security upgrades and fire pools are very expensive. (I wouldn’t mind a fire pool. Er, what is a fire pool?)

3. Which two South African female politicians kissed, merged, and then ‘divorced’ publically soon after:
a) DA leader Helen Zille and Agang founder Mamphela Ramphele.
b) What women do with each other publicly or privately is a valid expression of intimacy.
c) Sies.

4. Which is your favourite parliamentary quote:
a) ‘While the honourable Mazibuko may be a person of substantial weight, her stature is questionable.’
b) ‘Jacob Zuma’s cows must pay the e-toll.’
c) I don’t think what they say in parliament has anything to do with us.

5. Who said: ‘There were lots of pictures taken that day, and I just thought it was a bit of fun.’
a) Danish prime minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt who took a selfie with Barack Obama and David Cameron under Michelle O’s glares.
b) US congressman Anthony Weiner aka Carlos Danger who took a selfie of his weiner and sent it to a 20 year old – or two.
c) The married Durban socialite who brought down KZN Arts and Culture minister Narend Singh.

6. Where can you buy sexy, lacy panties?
a) Outside parliament in the EFF branded merchandise corner.
b) I don’t buy underwear that objectifies me.
c) La Senza.

Advanced Questions:

1. Complete the sentence: Dali Mpofu is…
a) A member of the EFF and a respected advocate.
b) Trouble. What was Winnie thinking?
c) Tjo. Quite the charmza!

2. If you ever meet Steve Hofmeyr, you will…
a) Teach him to sing the entire national anthem before having a serious discussion on social cohesion and ways to build a nation.
b) Tell him you are a crack shot and he should watch his unfaithful ass.
c) Ensure you’ve taken your birth-control pill that day.

3. Are you down with the people? Complete this sentence: In The Bold & the Beautiful…
a) Stephanie was the moral compass and now she’s gone, is no standard to hit against.
b) Is that a hard-hitting documentary? No? I don’t watch it then.
c) Hope is the new moral compass. At least, she tried to hang onto her virginity. Well, for a little while anyway.

4. Are you down with the people part 2? Generations is…
a) Still a mess! And Zwelinzima is obviously also no longer a fan after he said he wanted to cut Mfundi Vundla ‘down to size’.
b) Still overly aspirational.
c) I still miss Ntsiki. At least Karabo is back!

5. Decipher Fikile Mbalula’s tweet: ‘Incipient in this strategic initiative is its cataclysmic effect between the anvil of grassroots development of sport.’
a) I think it’s got something to do with sport development or quotas.
b) Jargon is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
c) Oh ya, my ex-boyfriend in Rosettenville had an anvil. It’s like a heavy iron block so he could shape metal.

How fast are your reactions:

1. You think your political husband may be contemplating a divorce. The first thing you do is…
a) Make an appointment with divorce attorney Billy Gundelfinger so hubby can’t.
b) Make an appointment with a gun-for-hire.
c) Make an appointment with a marriage counselor.

2. His phone beeps at 3am. He is downstairs: You:
a) Check the message, of course. It could only be his nyatsi at this time of night.
b) Smash his phone. It’s waking you up.
c) Take his phone to him and tell him he has a message.

General personality

1. When you heard that Noluthando Vavi had stood by Zwelinzima after that intern sex scandal, your first thoughts were:
a) She has her reasons – why should she give it all up for something meaningless?
b) She should have retaliated with the first available Ben 10.
c) Ag, shame, man. It’s none of our business and he looked very sorry.

2. Is it more important to look good and make a grand entrance than to be on time?
a) I can’t answer the question now – I’m two hours late, I haven’t done my make-up yet and I’m the keynote speaker.
b) Timing is everything. Looks are just another way men oppress women.
c) Actually, I’m just busy giving myself a home mani and pedi at the moment.

3. When you walk into Tasha’s, Tasha herself greets your personally with a kiss on both cheeks. You say…
a) Darling! I love the new place in Dubai!
b) I don’t like it there. Tasha’s is too much of a ‘scene’.
c) What or who is Tasha?

4. Your memoir would start like this:
a) I had a politician husband in Africa.
b) Aluta Continua.
c) It was a dark and stormy night.

Results:

Mostly As: You are the quintessential political wife who may well have aspirations of becoming Numero Uno herself one day. Good. You secretly admire Carla Bruni-Sarkozy’s hair but not her style of political wifedom. You know that too much sex and he will not concentrate on the big prize. You keep the balance right. Keep in mind what Facebook’s chief operating officer, Sheryl Sandberg, once said: ‘The most important career choice you’ll make is who you marry.’ You will make a better leader than any man. You are not just a trophy wife. He’s the trophy and you want it. Read on. You will get it.

Mostly Bs: Thank you for taking time out of your anger management meeting to do this test. It is better that you do not marry a politician. You will not last a year. Neither will he. And then there’ll be police and a messy trial. Forget about joining the ANC Women’s League. Although the League has decided SA finally is ready for a female president, this being the 21st century and all, they’re backing JZ’s ex or anyone from KZN. Are you from KZN? Rather become a dominatrix for kicks instead – or the CEO of Anglo American. And we’re not saying etiquette is everything but the steak knife is for cutting meat, not his manly bits.

Mostly Cs: You imagine the best political wives are neat, smiling women with little on their minds aside from redecorating the presidential palace and going indigenous with the garden. You are probably right. You will make a good political wife. Just not a particularly interesting one. Do one thing today that scares you, perhaps like forgetting the pale lipstick. Just for a day. You don’t want to be upgraded when your ‘best before’ date is up. Remember, a replacement may undo all your hard charity work and even re-catalogue the bibliographic entries in the library.Eish.

Conclusion: You now know what you are dealing with psychologically and astrologically. You know yourself a little better too. You are prepared. You are ready to enter the jungle and spot your prey. Load your gun, sister. We have our sights on the big prize.

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"Where Are We Headed?": Jerm's Satirical Comment on President Zuma's State of The Nation Address

Comedy ClubJerm, satirical cartoonist and author of Comedy Club, has shared a cartoon commenting on President Jacob Zuma’s State of the Nation Address.

In the cartoon, Jerm suggests that under Zuma’s leadership, South Africa is insulting and undoing all that Nelson Mandela stood for.

Tolerance, the end of the police state and media freedom are chief among the hard-won liberties that Jerm believes are now being disrespectfully disregarded.

Look at the cartoon:

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